Voulez vous dîner avec moi?
by armin-too-deep
Summary: In which Tsukiyama is conned into having dinner with Hannibal and is delightfully surprised to find out that it is not in fact beef


"I must regretfully decline your invitation doctor Lector, as you see I have already committed to a prior engagement." Tsukiyama said with his most gentlemanly smile, smoothly attempting to avoid having to suffer through a human meal.

"Then we will dine tonight, I insist." Hannibal replied with a smirk. Noting Tsukiyama's masked look of distress Hannibal continued. "I assure you, you will be delightfully surprised by how much you enjoy the food."

Tsukiyama quickly covered up the dubious and slightly annoyed look on his face with a bright smile followed by a flamboyant gesture. "Très bien" he proclaimed as if this was precisely the turn of events he had hoped for.

"Well it would seem that I have a dinner to prepare, and you have one to prepare for. I will see you at 7:00" Hannibal stated with an air of smugness, smoothly extending a card with his home address on it.

Tsukiyama took the card, quickly scanning over it before tucking it into his breast pocket. He glanced up to see Hannibal putting papers into a brief case. He did not need to be told that that was his queue to leave.

Tsukiyama muttered a brisk goodbye before he strode out of the room, closing the door behind him. "Merde" he muttered to himself as he massaged his temples, dreading the ordeal to come.

It's not like he disliked Hannibal, on the contrary he rather liked him. Which was a first for Tsukiyama considering that the man was human. There was just something about the doctor that intrigued Tsukiyama. Yes on the surface they enjoyed many similar things and had very similar world views, but he could tell that there was something else there that he was not seeing.

Hannibal had a dark side. However Tsukiyama seemed to be the only one to notice whenever it surfaced. There was something strange and oddly familiar about the way he toyed with people without them being remotely aware, about his particular brand of moral ambiguity.

That's probably what drew him in.

#

Tsukiyama stood in front of Hannibal Lector's elegantly large house in one of his best suits holding a bottle of ghoul made wine. He rang the doorbell with a sigh and was soon greeted by Hannibal, dressed in a impeccably-tailored navy suit. He stood to one side holding the door open and politely invited him to enter with a sweeping gesture and small smile.

"Merci" Tsukiyama said with slight nod as he entered.

Next to greet him was the delicious smell of food in the finishing stage of cooking. Which in itself was rather surprising as human food by rule usually smelt akin to rotten garbage.

Hannibal seemed to have picked up on Tsukiyama's confusion and smirked in response. "Please, this way" he said, leading Tsukiyama into a tastefully decorated dining room which fit the elegance of both the rest of the house and its owner perfectly. Set into a textured cobalt blue wall was a slate grey fire place. On opposite wall was a vibrant vertical garden filled with herbs and other plants. Everything in the room had an expensive modern feel to it, from the chandelier to the highly polished dining table laden with shining silverware and an ornate centerpiece.

Tsukiyama sat down as Hannibal swept from the room through a different door. He soon returned with and elaborate gourmet dish which he set in front of Tsukiyama. He set his own plate down and poured two glasses of wine before sitting down.

"I must thank you for the wine and agreeing to dine with me on such short notice." Hannibal said as he lifted his glass to smell the wine and take a small sip. He said nothing about the flavour, only lifting his eyebrows slightly as he set the glass down again with pursed lips.

"Not at all, it is my pleasure to dine with you mon ami, but may I ask what we are eating tonight?" Tsukiyama replied with his usual smooth voice, tinged slightly with genuine curiosity.

"We will start with beef sashimi roses" Hannibal replied, gesturing to the small plate of three delicate roses in front of him. "The main course will be pork loins served with Cumberland sauce and as for desert I think a nice cup of coffee would suffice."

Tsukiyama rose his eyebrows at the mention of coffee but brushed it of as a coincidence. "Sounds delightful." He said as he cut into the skilfully crafted rose. He took a tentative bite, preparing to swallow it quickly and chew on air so as to convincingly show that he was enjoying it. He was well practiced at this ploy and was confident the even Doctor Lector would notice nothing. He was stunned however to find out that he was not only able to eat it, but it actually tasted very good.

"This is very good Doctor Lector" Tsukiyama stated, slightly in shock. As a result this statement came out as one of incredulity.

"You sound surprised, I would never serve a friend anything that didn't agree with them." Hannibal stated as he studied the finely sliced meat on his fork bofore taking a bite. "Also you may call me Hannibal."

Tsukiyama smirked, catching on quickly to what was going on here as the puzzle piece he had been looking for snapped into place. "You said this was _beef_ sashimi?" Tsukiyama asked with his eyebrows raised, taking an animated bite of the meat in question.

"Yes, that is what is said" Hannibal replied with a smirk.

Tsukiyama chuckled at the play on words and continued to eat. This friendship had just gotten a lot more interesting.

#

Tsukiyama stood on the other side of Hannibal Lectors door way in the cool night air saying his goodbyes, pleasantly surprised with how the evening had turned out.

"Thank you for the wonderful food Hannibal, I'm glad we could do this." Tsukiyama said as he leaned casually against the door frame.

Hannibal's face split into a small smiled. "We will have to invite Will and your friend Kaneki to dine with us sometime." He suggested in return.

"Très bien. I will talk to Kaneki about it. Though I hope I could play host for you some time." Tsukiyama said with his usual level of enthusiasm and confidence, The volume rising and falling at seemingly random intervals.

"I would be delighted, it is not every day that _The Gourmet_ personally offers to cook for you" Hannibal replied, sounding as if he were commenting on the weather rather than bringing up the name of a notorious mass murderer.

Tsukiyama flashed Hannibal a wolfish smile. "Such high praise from the Chesapeake Ripper, I'm flattered."

Hannibal smiled at the mention of his alias. "You put things together impressively fast, I think I will enjoy getting to know you better."

"Well as much as I would love to be psychoanalysed by you I think that is a very long series of stories that we should save for another time." Tsukiyama replied in a honeyed voice whilst retracting himself from the doorframe.

Hannibal nodded once and took a step in from the door way. "Goodnight, I hope to see you again soon."

Tsukiyama bent into a sudden sweeping bow. "Bonne nuit." He said in farewell as he turned to walk away.

"Oh and Tsukiyama." Hannibal called out as he reached the bottom step. "I wouldn't underestimate Will Graham if I were you, he is a lot smarter than the CCG."

"I'll keep that in mind." He threw over his shoulder as he disappeared into the dark street.


End file.
